Can Women Do It All?
Whether you are a man or a woman, there are only 24 hours in each day. Sleep in some amount is mandatory. So the hours we have available for getting things done is limited. When something is added, then something else must be given up. I remember years ago in economics class, the instructor gave an example of the cost of everything.
If you choose to go to a small local store that has a higher cost rather than taking the time to travel to a larger store that has a lower cost, you still have costs. You have to consider the amount of time involved, the cost of the travel, and the cost of the actual product. Sometimes, it pays to pay a little more for something because of the additional costs that we are not able to pay at the time. If we have only 10 minutes and the larger store will be a 20 minute drive, then yeah, we will pay more for the product. We could always choose to do without the product, but even that is a cost. All choices come with a cost of giving up on another option.
As a woman, I must say that I tend to think of these costs a lot. I weigh each decision, or at least try to, in order to determine which one has the most acceptable cost factors. When I chose to go back to school, I knew that I would have less time to take the boys to sporting events and less time to stay on top of their activities. Housework might suffer. My energy level would definitely be reduced. I may even not be able to substitute as many days as I had been. The outcome would be worth it in the long run though. At least the dream goal was worth it. I still have not reached that goal, but I still feel that it was worth it.
Sure my house suffered. My boys and my husband had to do more around the house than they were used to doing. Things even went undone. In the long run, we discovered that my husband is actually good at cooking. So is my youngest son. I love to cook, but rarely enjoy cooking because those two are the pickiest eaters I have ever encountered! So, the kitchen is now basically theirs. Even though I no longer go to school.
Laundry may sit in a basket a bit longer. I may even miss a game or two. Does that mean that the world is coming to an end? No. Does it mean that I regret missing them? Sometimes, yes I do. Just this past weekend, I chose to stay home instead of going to my son’s ball game. They were playing a team that he was not expected to get to play against. He got to play a few plays and I missed it. I felt guilty. I regretted my decision even though I knew it was the right one to make at the time. Then my husband was flipping channels and found his game on television. So I watched him play after all. It was just after the fact. Does that make me less proud of him? Not in the least! He understood why I made the decision I did and he called me right after the game to have some sharing time with me. If I was at the game, the phone call would still have been required to share it with him. We are not allowed to talk to the boys while they are on the field.
My sons did not play all of the sports that they wanted to during the time I was in school. No, that did not kill them even though at first they thought it would. In fact, they have began some new hobbies and gained interest in some new sports because they were able to take a step back and look at their options. So, they learned about options. I learned that missing out on something they want to do will not actually kill them.
Do I actually believe that anyone can have it all? No. For everything that we do, we have to give up doing something else. There is no physical way that we can have it all. We just have to realize that and come to terms with it. Then we can chose to fill our days with as many choices for which we are willing to pay the price. We can come to terms with the fact that time is limited and we must try to find a way to reach a balance we are able to live with.
So today when you face the feeling of why can’t I have it all, don’t fret. Instead take a look at what choices you can make to fill your days with the things and activities that best fit your and your family’s needs. Do not judge what is best for your family and you by what other people do. Be your own person. Take a good look at everything on your plate and ask yourself, “Is this worth the cost?” If it is, then great! If it isn’t, then maybe you need to reevaluate that choice. Regardless of whether we are male or female, we can never have it all. Instead, we should strive to have what is best for us as an individual and for our family group. Enjoy your day of choices!